Russia X Reader: Safe Haven

Friday evening, it was always a night full of sweet relief and laziness.  There was nothing that needed to be done, or at least right then and there.  Everything could be done tomorrow or the next day.  You made your way over to your couch, turning on the television as you did so.  As you sat down you let out a sigh of relief.  The week had been busy, and you were happy that it was finally over.  You weren’t even aware of what was running on the television, it was just there for background noise.  But there was one thing that was not in the background, and that was your phone.  The beeping sound found its way into your head, it was annoying.  But in the end you stood up and made your way to find it.  The number was not one that you got very often.  It was rare that Natalia called you.  Confused, you picked up the phone.

“Hello?” You answered

“_______?” Natalia answered, “Where are you?”

She sounded devastated, as if she had been crying.  Her voice was worn out.  It was very unlike her.  

“What’s wrong?” You asked immediately

“It’s Ivan.”

Just the name caught you off guard.  There was something wrong with Ivan?  The big, strong, dependable, sometimes scary, Russian man?  

“What’s wrong with Ivan?”

There was silence over the line before a rustling sound was heard and a new voice spoke over the phone.

“He won't talk to us.” Katyusha stated

“Katyusha?  What’s going on?” You questioned

“Ivan came home in a hurry and locked himself in his room.  He won't let anyone in.”

“Do you know why?”

“No.  Natalia called you because she thought you could talk to him.”

“Be there in five minutes.”

You hung up your phone, grabbed a jacket, and slipped on you shoes.  The drive to his house usually takes around fifteen minutes- but not at the speed you planned to go.  You were out the door in a matter of seconds, the television still on.  

OoOoO OoOoO

You had only knocked once before the sisters had let you into the house.  They lead you down the hallway and to Ivans room.  Worry flooded your thoughts, it wasn’t like him to shut himself away like that.  If anything he would turn unwanted emotion into something he could use to tease Alfred, Matthew, or Yao with.  

“Have you called anyone else?” You asked

“No, just you.” Katyusha responded

“Do you mind calling Alfred and Yao?”

“Why?” Natalia questioned, “We don’t need them.”

“Now, now, Natalia.” Katyusha shushed

No matter what the two of them say, they are still his friends.  You could see it everyday that while they did all those nasty tricks to each other, there was never a sense of hatred.  No matter how many times Alfred called Ivan a ‘Commie Bastard’, he still invited him to lunch.  And no matter how many times Yao would avoid talking to him, they would still sit next to each other.  You had to admit their relationships were a bit strange, but Ivan had an unique relationship with pretty much everyone.   

“I might need them as back up.” You replied, “Trust me.”

Katyusha sighed, “Okay, just please get him out.”

“I will.”

She lead Natalia away and down the hallway.  Once they disappeared from your sight you lightly knocked on Ivans door.

“Hey, it’s _______.  Will you let me in?” You asked

There was no response, as you had expected.  Sighing, you knocked again.  

“Ivan, I know you can hear me.” You stated, “Don’t make me do something you’ll regret.”

“What can you do to make me regret something?” A voice responded

His voice was stuffy, he had been crying.  Just the thought of it made your heart ache.  But you couldn’t show any weakness in your resolve or there would be no chance of you getting in his room.

“There are a number of things.” You answered, “I could hide your vodka, break down your door, or both.”

“You can’t break a door.” Ivan countered

“Ah, care to test me?  Do you see me as a liar?”

“нет.  You would never lie.”

“Correct, so open the door.”

It was the best persuasion you had, so you hoped that it would get him to move.  There were a few seconds of silence and you held your breath.  Once he opened that door, you could help him.  All he needed to do was unlock it, then you could do everything.  You would hug him, tell him that he’s fine, that you’re here for him.  You would find out what was wrong and fix it.  By that time, others would be here to, and they could help as well.  He just needed to...

Click

The sound startled you momentarily, but not long enough for you to waste any time opening his door.  Light poured into his room, but a shadow cast over you.  Ivan stood in the doorway, looking away from you.  Slowly you lead him back into his room, you followed behind.  It was hard to see because you shut the door behind you and failed to turn the lights on.  You were planning on leading him to his bed, but you didn't make it.  His head landed on your shoulder and you froze.

“I’m sorry, da?” Ivan stated

“Why are you apologizing?” You asked

“I am showing weakness?”

He replied with a question.  He was upset because he was showing weakness?  He seemed unsure of whether or not that was allowed or not.  It was not something he should have to apologize for.  Weakness was a human trait.

“It’s okay.” You cooed, “Weakness is not a bad thing.  Without weakness, what would strength be?”

“I do not understand.”

“I am saying that a man that shows weakness, is strong.  You don’t have to understand, you just have to know that it’s okay.”

He shook and his head seemed to become heavier.  Slowly, both of you sunk to the ground and kneeled in front of each other.  You could feel the fabric on your shoulder slowly wetten from his tears.  

“I am intimidating?”

“Yes.”

“I am scary, da?”

“Sometimes.”

“I am a monster?”

“No.”

You wrapped your arms around his large torso and pulled him into you.  He let it happen and leaned over your shoulders, also hugging you from behind.  For a while you both stayed like that, but you found the courage to speak up.

“Ivan, you are scary and intimidating.  But if you weren’t then I wouldn’t be here.”

“Why not?  Would you not prefer someone that did not drive others away?” He asked

“I wouldn’t prefer anyone over you.”

Ivan shifted from his place and sat down in front of you.  He pulled you forward and twisted you around so you sat in his lap.  You looked up at him and saw his purple eyes staring into yours.  You blushed and turned back around.  You stayed tucked into his large chest.  You could feel his steady heartbeat, it soothed you into relaxation.  His jacket smelled of fresh air, almost like a garden.  It mixed with the smell of faint firewood and Vodka that emitted from him.  His strong arms stayed wrapped around you.

“I feel safe like this.” You informed, “Like no one can hurt me.”

“That’s because I won't let anyone hurt you.”

“I trust you.”

“You said weakness is strength, da?” He asked

“Along those lines, yes.”

“What is yours?”

You took in a deep breath and gave it some thought, but sadly nothing popped into your head at the moment.

“I don’t know yet.” You answered

“You know mine.  So when you find out tell me, da?”

“Da.”

You both stayed like that and didn't move.  It wasn’t until a large crashing sound came from outside Ivans door that the two of you slightly moved.  His grip on you tightened, and you could feel him glaring at the entrance to his room.  

“Where are they!?” A voice yelled out, “We need to tell that idiot something!”

“Aiyah!  Don’t go around breaking things.”

You automatically knew that it was Yao and Alfred.  But upon listening a bit more, you could tell that there were far more footsteps.  It sounded like at least thirteen people were out there.  Though you were happy that they had come to help Ivan, you couldn't help but feel sad that your moment with him was about to end.  You waited for him to move, but he didn't budge.  You looked up at him and saw that his eyes were closed.

“Are you not going to go greet them?” You asked

“My sestry can handle it.”

“Ivan?  I think I know what my weakness is.”

“What?”

“I don’t like sharing you.”

He gave a childlike laugh, “That is very silly.”

“H-Hey!  Don’t make fun of me, next time I won’t tell you.”

Slowly Ivan moved and let go of you.  He stood up and helped you do so as well.  He turned on a small light and gazed at you.  There was no sign of him crying, or him ever being upset.  

“_______, I will only show my weakness to you, da?” Ivan stated

“Why?”

“Because you are my safe haven.”